Sep 27, 2012

What's Most Important

I ask myself this question quite a bit, especially lately.

Let me say this...for me who gets stressed out so easily with all of the things to do in one day (I'm certain there are those who can relate), I have to make a mental priority list.

My blog, as you can tell, is pretty low on that list. It's been nearly two months since I've touched it. A lot of stuff happens in two months, including some mental -- delayed -- spring cleaning.

In any given day I have about 4 hours to spend on my business, that includes website, blog, facebook, etc. I can do some through my phone, but blogging with my thumbs is not very appealing. Must be my age. To prevent myself from overheating, it must stay in the schedule as it is, and I find peace in that....today.

What is most important? My husband or a painting? My physical health or a chit chat on facebook? My spiritual awareness or a blog post (tho I do like to bring the two together). I fear that it is far too easy for us to get wrapped up in what we feel is an "obligation" when really we place that upon ourselves. We can say "No" ya know, seriously. We're not trained to do that, but the freedom is there.

I have begun to say "No" to areas of my life and say "Yes" to other areas that I never really said "Yes" to before. Like spending an entire Sunday prepping food and planning the week's menu instead of painting. But wow! It not only helps me in the week ahead, but I really do love cooking! I spend most of my time -- in life -- in the studio, at the art center teaching, or in my kitchen. Hands down. My waist thanks me too! ;)

See, my point is as an artist I always thought that I had to live in some kind of dark corner, hiding from the world, being the opposite of the rest of the world (in my own way I am still), and work work work work work till my hands bleed just to make it some where in this world as an artist.

What a shame I believed that. This is why...

I am now living my life! I am awake to the colors around me that are the pigments of every day moments. There is more to it than just studio work and weighing yourself so far down to the ground with rules, obligations, and stress that you aren't enjoying the work. This was me, it might not be like this for you, but I have done this for almost 30 years!

This isn't saying work is bad and day dreaming is good. I'm saying that a balance has been found in the business I have developed, not allowing it to rule me but I rule it.

Brian and I are working hard because we have a goal to buy a house soon. I'm very excited, and stressed out over it all. But in the day to day I am trying SO hard to remind myself to stop and relax. God has a great plan, a beautiful and loving one, and I must trust in that and Him with all of the facets of my life, including my art.

My blog has suffered, and it will continue to lack in posts every single week until it fits into my schedule. I must share this, because if I don't I will feel like I had an obligation and then in turn let you down. :)

I am on a journey, a peek into it here today. Let's see where it goes...

PS: Yes the blog look changed again, I like changing it, it's fun. 

3 comments:

Sonja Häusl-Vad said...

thank you for this beautiful post. I needed this today. I have two small children, so I am still living with the feeling, I have not enough time for painting. Usually I was using Saturday and Sunday for my art work. But slowly I get the feeling, this is not ok. I need the time with my family, I need to find my inspiration in the nature. So I decided not to draw or paint on Sunday. It is not easy, but I have to find a balance. And I believe, without rest and relax time, we can´t find our muse and develop our art. And as you write, God has a plan... Have a nice weekend. S.

jcat0629 said...

Wow! I too found myself drawn to your blog today - I believe by divine inspiration....I have been struggling as well with these very same emotions. I had brain surgery over the summer & 2 subsequent hospitalizations from complications. I am back to my full time job too soon I believe but bills have a tendency to pile up LOL. Anyway, I have been struggling with "too much & not enough time for me". I am a Mom with a wonderful fiance & amazing son...but sometimes I get lost in not doing for myself those things that feed my soul including my relationship with God. Sometimes there isn't even enough time for family time. So, it's nice to know we are not alone in our respective journeys. Thank you for this post. It means so much today!

Kimberly Vanlandingham said...

Sounds like you had quite the epiphany! Hang in there and glad you're getting your priorities in order!