Sep 7, 2009


I love mornings. When the house is quiet, Madie has finally settled down after her "morning routine" of meowing, hubby still asleep, and the sun just pouring through the studio windows. I have my hazelnut coffee and researching what Etsy has to offer. I'm overwhelmed.

For the last six months I've been planning a wedding and all the jazz that goes along with it. Everything pretty much hand made, wedding favors, center pieces, programs, everything...made by me and those closest to me. Where is this rant going? I'm behind, way behind in my business. I have always felt behind in my there has always been something missing. But what?! For the researching and studying I've done I can't figure out what I'm skipping. Of course, anyone how knows me smirks because I start projects (big ones outside of painting) just great, but can never keep them going. That's gotta change, seriously. But then, how do I change that behavior?

I get overwhelmed with how much you have to do! Community, blog, FaceBook, post, relist, website to maintain, mail outs, THEN you gotta log, pay bills, finance, budget...all things my brain just can't wrap around...on top of everything else. Oh, did I forget to mention paint and sketch daily?


I feel behind and exhausted and it's not even 10am. I've been awake for only an hour and a half and I'm ready to go back to bed. My heart and mind is just fluttering with excitement to get started back on track with life and with my business. Only, I want to do everything all at once and don't know where to start.

I'm almost thirty and I've been on this path for five years...thinking it'd be something a bit more by now. Aww....I'm not moping...seriously I'm not. It's motivation to get my toosh into gear!

One of the questions probing my mind is "What's my niche?" I have always wondered that. There are so many directions I can go in, and most of the time try to, but I wear myself thin. So what's my niche? I've always struggled with this question since college...sophomore year. By junior year it seemed like all of the fellow friends and illustrators had found their niche. Mine...well I do a lot of fantasy art so I guess I'll do licensing. Um...ya...don't mind a bit of licensing but it's a sticky business to be into. Plus it's a slow one. There are children books from my past that I just adored. Heavy into detail fantasy paintings with simple text for the child to read. I got so lost into those books. But when I started to go into children's book illustration I feared that my work wasn't quite what publishers I started drawing cute animals. I LOVE drawing cute animals, but I also LOVE painting fantasy.

--_-- crossroad again.

I'm processing out loud because if I don't I loose it all, and hopefully something comes of this writing frenzy. What do I have that others need? Light? Love? Hope? Joy? Why would someone buy a piece of artwork? Hum...

So much to think about.


Kati Potratz said...

I vote children's book illustrating. How can your stuff not be good enough for that? It's imaginative and original and whimsical and everybody likes it.

May God give you peace of mind to just keep taking one moment at a time. :)

Wayne Tully said...

We all have them days I guess, everything and the kitchen sink to clean and all the jumble in yer head just confuggles everything else creative that needs to be done.

But start with a plan in mind, a list of daily tasks to work from and mix your week up and do different things on different days, that's what spices things up for me and I don't feel overwhelmed by it all....

Good luck with the wedding planning!

Holly Durr Art said...

I know what you mean. You want to draw what you love, but you are at the same time trying to make a living at it. But anyway you slice it, whether your trying to license your work or get into children's books or wanting to draw fantasy, it's a everyday struggle for emerging artist. You got to think of it this way; No matter what you will struggle until you become established. So why not do what you enjoy and let your heart be free. It's your decision and I know you will do what's best for you in the end. I think being so close to your wedding and being nervous about it, isn't helping you with the mix. I'm here for ya, and praying for ya :)